War Horse review in gif form
It’s a baby horse!
It’s a guy!
Guy really likes that friggin’ horse.
Guy needs to stop looking at baby horse so much. I’m getting Equus vibes.
Is it bad that whenever I see David Thewlis I still think of Dinotopia rather than Harry Potter?
The sassy goose!
Albert has a human friend! He’s so going to die.
OK, that scene with Albert and Joey plowing the field is pretty cute.
Oh no! Joey is being sold away! Oh yeah, and World War I has started…
Oh hey Tom Hiddelston but HAI BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH!
Really? That’s your entire role? Incompetent but nice enough cavalry leader? Even the German officer is like “Dude, really?”
At first I thought the kid from The Reader was this annoying asshole from The Tudors but it was the guy from The Reader.
This movie is becoming “Spot the famous, talented actor in a humorless, boring role!”
For instance, the Corsican mob boss from The Prophet is now “Grandfather.” He was like Old Moriarty now he’s Kindly Grandpere.
I really couldn’t watch when Joey got tangled in the barbed wire. That was one of the horrific images I’ve seen in awhile.
British Soldier #1223 said “War Horse.”
Albert’s human friend died. Called it.
IS HE BLIND?!
Nope, we’re good.
The unnecessary jockeying (GET IT?!) of the horse at the auction.
The saccharine ending drenched in Tropicana orange. I would’ve liked it more if it wasn’t so long, wasn’t shot partially in green screen, and wasn’t so awful.
Takeaway: Jeremy Irvine’s pretty cute.